Scroll through Instagram and you’ll see endless labels: gentle parenting, FAFO parenting, French parenting, American parenting. Add in a few best-selling books and viral TikToks, and suddenly motherhood feels like a job with lots of rules and no time off.
But then came Mel Robbins with her viral Let Them theory, and moms everywhere sighed in relief.
Because here’s the truth: parenting isn’t about fitting into a label. It’s about making life smoother for your kids and easier on yourself.
What different parenting styles get right (and wrong)
Gentle parenting is rooted in empathy.
It teaches us to validate feelings, to pause before reacting, and to explain the “why” behind our boundaries. Beautiful in theory - but let’s be honest, it can feel like you need a master’s degree in child psychology and unlimited patience to pull it off every day.
FAFO parenting (“f*ck fool around and find out”) is the opposite vibe.
It’s all about natural consequences: you don’t want to wear your coat? Okay, go ahead. You’ll figure out that it’s cold. There’s a refreshing simplicity in that approach - kids really do learn by experiencing. But sometimes toddlers don’t need a lesson; they just need a hand to hold or a little extra scaffolding while they figure it out.
French parenting (like that described in the international bestseller ‘Bringing Up Bébé’) is known for boundaries, balance, and giving kids independence early.
French parents expect their children to adapt to family life, not the other way around. And they don’t apologize for enjoying adult time. Inspiring, right? But let’s face it: not all of us are sipping espresso in Paris while our toddlers quietly munch on endives.
American parenting often leans into achievement.
Enrichment activities, structured play, milestone charts, sports, academics - the works. It comes from love and ambition, but it’s easy for moms to feel like they’re constantly falling behind.
Every style has its wins. Every style also has a catch. Which is why most of us end up somewhere in the middle, figuring it out as we go.
Enter the Let Them theory
Mel Robbins’ Let Them theory went viral for a reason. The idea is simple: stop trying to control every detail. Instead, when the stakes are low, step back and say: let them.
Your toddler insists on mismatched socks? Let them.
Your preschooler wants to eat buttered pasta three nights in a row? Let them.
Your child wants to watch K-pop Demon Hunters again? Let them.
It’s not about being permissive. It’s about saving your energy for the moments that matter. Because if we’re honest, most of the things we fight about daily don’t actually matter.
What this means for moms
The truth is, parenting doesn’t need to be harder than it already is. You don’t need to master a method or buy into every new theory.
You can take the bits that serve you - gentleness when emotions are big, natural consequences when the lesson is obvious, boundaries when you need space, enrichment when it feels fun - and leave the rest.
Sometimes that looks like setting a firm bedtime.
Sometimes it’s shrugging at the socks.
And sometimes, it’s reaching for the simplest, gentlest tool on hand (like a diaper lotion that cleans, protects, and restores in one swipe, instead of juggling wipes, creams, and stress).
Making it easier for them doesn’t mean harder for you. When you choose simplicity, everyone wins.
Petites pensées
Parenting styles are interesting to read about, but you don’t need to choose one.
The only “rule” that matters?
Find the rhythm that feels kinder to you. Because when you bring more ease into your own life, you create more space for connection with your kids.