Nobody puts "NICU stay" on their birth plan.
Yet every year, thousands of families find themselves navigating a world of monitors, acronyms, medical terminology, and uncertainty they never expected.
In a recent episode of Beyond the Diaper, Dr. Varisa Perlman sat down with NICU nurse and educator Alyssa, whose social media videos have helped millions of parents better understand life inside the neonatal intensive care unit.
The truth about becoming a parent
Whether your baby spends three months in the NICU or comes home the day after birth, there is one lesson every parent eventually learns:
Things rarely go exactly as planned.
Alyssa describes many NICU families as "unexpecting parents", not because they didn't want their baby but because they didn't expect their journey to look like this.
And we think that most parents can relate to this - whether or not you have spent time in the NICU.
Maybe it wasn't a NICU stay.
Maybe it was breastfeeding challenges.
A difficult recovery.
Postpartum anxiety.
A toddler who refuses every vegetable except ketchup.
Motherhood has a way of reminding us that control is often an illusion.
As Alyssa joked during the episode:
"A birth plan is basically a wish list."
Why information matters
One of the most powerful things Alyssa teaches families is that information should come in small, manageable pieces.
When you're overwhelmed, exhausted, and worried about your baby, your brain can only absorb so much. That's why she believes parents deserve honest information without being overwhelmed by every possible scenario.
It's a delicate balance.
Enough information to feel empowered.
Not so much that you spiral.
The lesson every parent can borrow from the NICU
One of the most beautiful parts of the conversation was hearing Alyssa describe how NICU teams care for premature babies.
Everything is designed to mimic the womb.
Soft lighting.
Gentle boundaries.
Skin-to-skin contact.
Calm environments.
Even touch is approached differently.
Premature babies have incredibly delicate skin, which means caregivers try to minimize unnecessary friction whenever possible.
That philosophy is one of the reasons Alyssa loves La Petite Crème's Diapering Lotion for diaper changes.
Instead of relying on repeated wiping, the lotion is applied to a cotton pad or cloth and gently cleanses the skin while leaving behind a protective layer.
For babies with especially sensitive skin - including premature infants transitioning home from the NICU - reducing friction can make a meaningful difference.
As Alyssa explained throughout the episode, so much of neonatal care is about protecting fragile, developing systems while supporting healthy growth.
Sometimes the gentlest approach really is the best one.
The village matters more than we think
One topic that came up again and again was support.
Or, more specifically, how hard it can be to accept it.
Many of us are comfortable helping others.
Receiving help? Not so much.
Alyssa spoke openly about learning to lean on her own village during a difficult season of life and realizing that accepting support isn't weakness.
Because despite what modern culture sometimes suggests, children were never meant to be raised by one exhausted adult trying to do everything perfectly.
The village matters.
And sometimes the bravest thing a parent can do is let someone else carry part of the load.
You are probably doing better than you think
Perhaps the biggest takeaway from our conversation was this:
Parents are stronger than they realize.
But because every day they continue showing up - no matter how difficult it feels.
Learning.
Adjusting.
Loving.
Trying again.
Whether your baby spent time in the NICU or not, there is comfort in remembering that none of us were meant to navigate parenthood alone.
And none of us are expected to get it perfect.
Showing up is enough.
Listen to the full episode
Want to hear the full conversation with Alyssa?